Half-Life

Driving back to my former marital home
I start to choke on tears
Of course, it will do only harm
It is no-ones fault, least of all his
But the emotion is overpowering

Don't take me back there
Please, please
Back to the empty shell of my marriage
Only the cat gives any welcome
In the bombed out remains of my former life

He looks at me from above
Hazel eyes shining with love and concern
But this can damage our love
The joy of your company
Destroyed by the thought of having to leave

I must take you back there
Don't cry, I love you,
Back to the man who now means nothing to you
Carry on the war of attrition
For your half of the home, and your work

But he does not fully understand
The memories seep through my skin,
Each Sunday I return in part to the old life
Betraying him, in a way
But unwilling, unwilling