Poor Cow

He's out again
With a friend
With a tart
Who knows?
Who can prove anything?
I can't afford
A private detective, no

All my money is his
I can't afford
To live round here
On my own
No chance of finding love
The good ones don't approach
A married woman, no

Parents too old
To run back to
Also too cruel
For that's how
My problems all started
You've guessed,it's the
Same old same old, yes.

So what is left
But the Dark Path
I'm not religious
But I'm frightened...
I must tread the hard, real,
Scientific concrete alone
No refuge in delusion for me.

Mystic Fairy Folk

Just as life seems simpler
Just as I settle down
Just as I'm slowly sorting myself out
Mystic fairy folk
Shopping for icecream

Just as I feel I'm with it
Just as I feel I'm sane
Just as Reality returns to me
Mystic Fairy Folk
Eating jellied eels

Just as I'm feeling serious
Just as I'm working hard
Just as I'm finally growing up
Mystic Fairy Folk
Changing hairy tyres

Green and Black-and-Tan

George's brothers fought and died
To a man in the Great War, for the King
Whilst too young, he was left to labour
In the Lancashire mines so hard

One day came a sargeant so smart
"Serve in the Black and Tans" said he
"For our Noble King against those Irish who dare
Rebel against our Country and our Way"

What could George do but agree?
Here was honour, or so he thought
That same that his brothers had won
Far better than the slavery of home

He was given a new uniform to wear
Half policman, half desert soldier
His mother proud waved her son goodbye
From the grandeur of Liverpool Quay

But it wasn't long after young George realised
He had made the biggest mistake of his life
He hated the things he was ordered to do
But where to run, in a foreign land?

Till one day in a village they sheltered the night
Sweet Mary Kelly came into his life
With her sapphire eyes and her chestnut hair
Young George had never seen a girl so fair

"I'll marry that lass" George straightway vowed
"Start over again in Delvin Town
"For it seems like heaven in these green hills
"Far away from the grime of the Lancashire mills"

He deserted the Army and hid in her sod house
And married her in the wee church in the town
And soon came a daughter, and another wee child
But the villagers hated the soldier, the traitor worse

Young Mary said "Take us to England
"I've heard it's a land of plenty"
"Not the North" mumbled George
"Then to the South we'll go" she smiled

Well she did go on, and so he gave in
Leaving half of his heart there
They moved to Surrey, their dreams of happiness died
Was it Mary's greed, or the stain of Black-and-Tan?

Sad Friend

If I could take your sorrows
All upon my self
Leaving you happy once more
I would, my dear

Code Names

Keltex Sitwell Lunik Asfalt
Ryvel Acme Deen Philup
Rola Ritex Teknik Stenol
Intakt Huva Orange Rattan

Bova Epir Solto Mentor
Warbil Egrol Niox Vishis
Maypol Klingon Noxit Videx
Bicyl Allister Crabon Obsirv

Spring

As I me walked
Down the concrete path
I saw a Brimstone
The first butterfly of the year
An earth-free flake of sunlight
A tiny ray of hope

A Voice Returns

Walking down the street
Thinking angrily of work
A familiar voice says
"Fuck 'em,
"Fuck 'em if that's their attitude"
Half turning, I see the Animus
As dashing as he always was.

My eyes well with tears
And I lean my head on his shoulder
"I'm so glad you're back, my love,
"Though you destroy me"
"As if," he replies but looks away.

"Now then," he admonishes, pulling me back by the shoulders
"We need you to be strong"
So we walk side by side down the street
Like sister and like brother
Or like secret lovers.

Management Bo11ocks

There were two main reasons why
we felt we couldn't offer you a post
here:

Both Mr Branson and I found it difficult
to hold a long conversation with you
while we were interviewing.
We both found you not to be very forthcoming
with your answers and questions
and had to work hard to find ways
to keep the interview going.
From that point of view
we questioned whether your character was right for us here

We all felt that we need someone with more practical experience
We did have some questions
over whether you had
the right amount of experience in certain areas
but felt that training and experience would give you those skills.
Where we did have our doubts,
however,
was on your ability to translate
the findings of your work
into advice for what would need to change and how.

We felt that you would need
guidance about
'what to do next',
whereas what we need is someone
who can create and manage
their own workload,
prioritise and take initiatives,
and make recommendations.

I hope you find that useful,
and we wish you well with your
career.

Inadequacy

A flint spear
Wedged under my heart

A black stone
At the pit of my stomach

A hard hand
Squeezing, squeezing my ribs

Postcards from Ireland

Spaghetti house in Dublin
Only very cheap, but
The girl takes my note and gives no change
Then she takes my change.
Eventually, I notice the smirk
The gleam of hatred in the eyes.
I tell Kevin
But he just looks frightened
Who to complain to
In this enemy country?

Travelling west
I see a man with his legs apart
Against a fence.
What is he trying to do?
When I realise, I laugh
He is trying to piss on the sheep.
Truly wild

Little pub in Clifden
Kevin has me drunk and onto politics
We agree troops out
United Ireland
Meanwhile, the locals stare
They didn't know
That Sinn Fein were censored

Sunny day in Galway
Kevin has sunstroke
So I'm in charge for a change.
It's nice
Leading him by the hand
Looking at Celtic relics and Claddach rings
Eating oysters in white wine
Accompanied by Guinness
People here seem friendly
Perhaps they see less of us English

Overcast in Uggool
I lean over the fence
Looking at long abandoned potato ridges.
Suddenly I feel overcome with grief
Kevin puts his arm around me -
"What are you crying for?"
"For all those people,
all those people who died"
"Too late to help them now"
He says and it's true.
I get back in the car
Nothing else to do.

Youth hostel
In a bleak Norman castle
Symbolic of oppression

Independent hostel
In a farm house
With no curtains.
Kevin and I lie fully clothed
On the bed with it's bright covers
Listening to the music outside.
Suddenly we hear
"She's got her hand on his cock!"
Enraged, I rush to the window
Outside a young man with a guitar
And a group of young women around him.
Strangely, I feel sorry for him
All those girls, and you can't touch?

Chilly in Wexford
The streets oddly empty
We come across a striker's rally
A middle aged man
Making a defiant speech
In defeated tones
Harbinger of bad times

Weary drive to the ferry
Home again to Wales

PS we are engaged

Clive

I saw the Trickster yesterday
Leaning over his cycle
So much a part of him
Like a little warrior
Socks tucked into his trousers

Pale and pursed against the cold
Getting at last the face he deserves.
I did not meet those eyes.
Emotion? I don't know
Slight annoyance, I expect

He doesn't notice me.
Once, he did,
I won't go there again.
Shan't think of him, give him
Too much power

Pedal as fast as you like
You can't escape
The Mrs Bucket wife
The too-dependent kids
Being the Boss
Baldness
Forty

Dreamer (Haiku)

I try to get a
Grip on reality; it
Slips though my fingers

Annoying Californian Blues-Guitarist

It's raining again this morning
It's raining again this morning
It's raining again this morning
Feel as lonesome as the rain
It's raining again this morning
It's raining again this morning
It's raining again this morning
Woncha take away this pain
It's raining again this morning-
Welcome to England, asshole!

Awaiting Second Miscarriage

Don't know whether to laugh
Don't know whether to cry
Can't allow myself to hope
Can't allow myself to dream
Living from day to day
Made it this far
Made it this far

Don't want another angel
Want a keeper

Am I paranoid
Or just taking no chances?
Am I making mountains
Out of molehills?
Well every emotion is valid
Made it on a little further
Made it on a little further

Don't want another angel
Want a keeper

Ian Johnson's Poem (a 'found' poem)

Another year!
Not much done or so I thought
Grand Union Presentation
Woking Bus Day
Brighton day out with impromtu trip round Kempton brewery
Wandsworth Wander
Young Members at Hogs Back
Manchester Mild trip, Bazens, Facers, local Branch mild trail,
Pot of Beer-Absinthe
London city heritage pubs
followed by Ealing BF
34 bus crawl
Lunchtime Socials, Half Moon, Richmond Arms, Plough
Real Ale Rambles, Wood Street, Alton, Ash - North Camp
Royal Oak & 4 Horseshoes POTY presentations Picture behind
bar, driving to 4 Horseshoes
Norwich Trip, Wolf and Green Jack, Fat Cat National POTY,
Tutored Tasting evening POW, lots of new faces
Cider social Crossways, Bob can he handle his cider?
Christmas Party...change next year?
Quiz nights at Varsity Centre
Skittles evening at Foresters, Julie secret practise sessions with
SE Berks ringer??

English Folk Star

I first saw him at Guilfest
And bought the CD
By Windsor I knew all the words

So I sang
And I smiled my best smile
He looked me dead in the eyes
All the way through
An odd, joyless gaze

Well, I wasn't familiar
With the works of Cifuentes
But I know Dorothy Fields allright
Embarrassed, I signed my name
On the band's mailing list, instead

At the Maltings, now famous,
He asked me to sit down
I flattered, awestruck
Met him once more dead in the eye
And
Something happened

He was - lonely - incredibly so
Like the homeless
Emotion, well, fantasy, flooded me
I dumbstruck, embarrassed, addicted, fought
An urge to help, yet couldn't lead him on

Later, I found
He had a partner and a kid
What was I ever to him but
Sally free and easy?
Hypocritical, maybe
I attempted to forgive

We owe it to our loved ones
To live in the Real World...

Welcome to the Secret Garden

Some Godawful poems on their way soon. Vogon Jeltz, eat your heart out!